So, here goes- my new blog. I’m not really too sure how I’ve got myself here (again formerly Momma Up North) but here I am. I’ve tried really hard to reinvent and re-start this platform to make it more accessible and inclusive. I want to continue to write about Arjun; my son who is fast approaching end of life care but I’ve realised that I am much more than a carer, a nurse, a problem solver or indeed a mum- I’m much more. I was becoming increasingly concerned that amidst all that comes with parenting three children I was fast (indeed I had) lost myself- my own being, my own identity.
It goes without saying, that once you become a parent your world does change. You priorities yourself LAST on the list of the ‘To Do List’ of life. I have found myself increasingly resentful of this, not to say I don’t love or cherish my children, husband or family, just that I need to reclaim myself. The oddest thing is I don’t know who myself is.
I keep reading blog, Instagram, Twitter and Facebook feeds all hailing the label ‘self-care’ and ‘reclaim yourself’ but if you don’t really know who you are , what you like or enjoy then where do you start? Is this really an identity crisis or am I just a 40 something who is having a mid-life crisis ?(do they actually exist?)
Hitting my 40’s has led to further questioning- there was a time when 20 was (really old) in my head, married at 22 concluded that I had hit a pinnacle of progress (when the Punjabi aunties would whisper ‘it’s about time she’s married’ or ‘they finally managed to find someone for her’). Getting married basically meant that you were complete. I’m sure I will write a more detailed post about this! For the first time in my life I’m thinking about my needs (and wants) rather than those that are expected of me or I feel duty bound to follow (mainly resulting from cultural and family guilt).
So after all my ramblings (there will be more to follow), I’m here blogging so I can write – one of my favourite things to do- and to find myself again. I will explore an array of topics in the ‘My Journey’ section. Love to cook so a fortnightly recipe in the Food section will follow. These will contain a combination of authentic Punjabi curries to the easy to make Child friendly meals including reviews of places we have eaten (we love food). Fashion/Beauty will be just that… hopefully lots of shoe and petite styles to follow as well (I am petite!).
I really hope you can stick with me through this journey of self discovery and have a few laughs along the way.