A letter to my 22 year old single self

Dear Manraj

I know you are scared, afraid of how your life will turnout once you are married to man you do not know. You will be moving away from all that is familiar; family, community and your childhood home. You are taking your parents’ wishes on board and trusting in their judgement; you are trusting them with your life.

Marrying a man you do not know, a lifetime based on a few hours conversation under the trusted eyes of a chaperone your fate has been chosen; it is out of your hands now. As the Guru Granth Sahib (Sikh holy scriptures) dictates “marriages are made in heaven but celebrated on earth” means that you must trust His will and that of your destiny (Kismet) .

You must continue to be strong , follow your dreams and ensure you maintain your freedom of thought; be true to yourself.

Your ideas of love are constrained by your culture, your traditions and family ideals, you have always been told that you will marry a man who will give you all that you desire and it will be your true beginning, you will be woman, finally. But what you must remember is that you don’t need a man to make you a woman, despite your culture and up bringing you must remain true to yourself.

You have never loved , or known the true meaning of love so you learn to love and care, share your life’s wishes and dreams and ensure you are loved in return the way  you deserve to be. Do not let him hurt you, do not let  him take away your inner self and do not let his family control your freedom. You have heard all the stories of the horrid mother in law and their controlling demands, just be vigilant and do not allow yourself to be consumed by such antics. Remember you are stronger than that.

Marriage is the start of a new journey, and you must carve the path to your destination, not what is expected from you by everyone else.

Do not forget who you are, who you want to be and don’t let anyone break you.

Good luck and may you always be guided and blessed.


Aged 22.

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