Marriage: 20 Year later it’s not all that bad!


After a long 20 years it’s not all bad.

I discussed this with my husband and he agreed with ‘it’s been ok’ although I did feel his eyes roll at the thought of him having to explain himself! We both agreed that despite all the trials and tribulations we were in fact a great deal stronger than we had thought all those years ago.

He was 23 and I was 22 when he led me around the Guru Granth Sahib and we listened to the Giani telling us how we were married in front of God who would watch over us. He also informed me that I was embarking on a new journey where I was to respect my husband and ‘new family’, which neglected to pin point that Sikhi gives men and women equal status in life and marriage. This is more of a cultural oversight, perpetuated by both men and women. I remember feeling slightly nauseous at the thought of my life being about abiding by further rules, restrictions and regulations but it was too late I was legally and religiously married.


After the ceremony, we looked at each other, not out of love, but the palpable fear, anticipation and anxiety of what our lives were to hold. I asked my husband on our wedding anniversary this year if he could remember how he felt, he replied ‘numb’ and think that rather sums up our first impressions of marriage; the numbness of what we had just done.

Following on we made our way to the reception where he arrived, now clean-shaven, if I’m honest I was pretty shocked, he looked quite different from how I had seen him a year ago! Better. I dare say!

The most bizarre moment at our wedding reception was the first dance. All eyes were on us, as we held hands and sort of swayed side to side to a song that neither of us had ever heard or would have asked for. We swayed until family members came on to ‘save’ us by dancing with us. It was a total relief once we were embraced by our parents then carefully walked off the dance floor. It was cringe – worthy to say the least.


And there we are, married and now 20 years on after many very challenging and fun times we look back with both shock and fondness, that we were so brave and naïve that we just went along with it.

Who knows where we would be if we hadn’t decided to take the plunge and marry people who we did not know?

This month there will be a series of stories featuring my followers and how the they met. Id love to hear your comments and your stories too.

Much Love

Northern Bindi


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