Guest Post- Anonymous
Well here goes, I was a happy go lucky girl living in West London at College studying Art, Textiles and Photography. Never thought about marriage at all. I was never a girl who dreamed about her wedding etc. I loved to travel loved Fashion and Art.
At a family friends get together I remember meeting a family from Yorkshire. I recall laughing at the accent and thought nothing else of it. Until a few months after my parents we approached by a mutual friend asking for my hand in marriage.
My parents asked me and I was mortified! I had never thought about marriage, it had never crossed my mind. I was about to go to University and study Fashion.
My dad had said no and that I was too young but the mutual friend had suggested we met and speak. I was seen as ‘good Indian girl with a good family background’. I did eventually meet the guy and we spoke alone. After a few more meeting we agreed but I didn’t like the thought of moving to Yorkshire. I had never heard of the town or area.
My condition was I went to study at University and complete my degree and then get married. This was first frowned upon by in laws and I was asked to get married first then study at University after marriage. My parents backed me and said no.
So we had a ‘Rokh’ (deposit in my eyes) and we’re then allowed to meet up as it was semi official. While at University we met on a number of occasions and grew a bond, love some may say..
Many family members thought my parents were mad to let this happen and wait 4 years until I was married but that is what happened.
I knew that I still had the option of saying no but it would of been frowned upon. Fast forward 12 years, I completed my degree and got married that year of graduating. While my mates were on holidays enjoying the summer. I had a wedding to plan.
We are happily married with kids and live with in laws and I am glad we had the 4 years of getting to know one another. I personally would not have gone down the ‘introduction route’ but we both liked one another and somehow made it work, don’t get me wrong we had many arguments once we lived together and I found moving away from all my family and friends very very isolating indeed but honesty, patience and comprise are key factors in our relationship.